Modern Dating: The Message I Sent For Closure


For context, this message was to someone who started out our relationship by sending me very long messages, since that was the beginning  – it didn’t feel unfitting to end it this way).

Perhaps it was a bit full on? I’m not sure. I know I was just trying to match up to you in terms of that. Previously to you, I’ve been accused of appearing to show no interest, and lost opportunities because of my wall. (For the record, my pride doesn’t cut me off from admitting that I was interested in you.)

What I do think is rude, and what I didn’t think came with your character. Is that, after really getting to know each other you’d choose the cowardly route of just ghosting* me?

Maybe you thought, actually I don’t want to see her again or, it’s not what I’m looking for. Maybe you panicked because you’d already semi-made those arrangements.

It’s okay to change your mind, and it’s okay not to be interested anymore. I can take that. I’m grown, and I know how to handle rejection. After all, it was a “strong woman” you were after.

To add to that insult, after our regular rapport, you read my message, didn’t reply and pree-d ya gal on instagram. I’m used to being pree*-d, but by people sometimes too anxious to talk to me in real life, and I didn’t think that was you. Sometimes I’m wrong.

It’s a big deal for me to have put my feelings out there on the line like that. It’s something I thought you understood to be gentle with. A sacrifice to let you know you were wanted.

Anyway, right now I’m past caring. In reality I’m just writing this because if you’re not going to offer me closure, I will find it myself this way.

Although definitely still super rude. I’d also like to thank you for ignoring me yesterday. It meant instead of seeing you, I went on my own adventure, saw some old friends, made new ones and had a really, cracking time.

As a whole, I don’t think you’re a terrible person. I just think you should know for the next time you suddenly decide you’re not interested in someone, to just maturely let them know.”

*ghosting (ˈɡəʊstɪŋ) noun,informal

the act or an instance of ending a romantic relationship by not responding to attempts to communicate by the other party


  1. To take notice of something.
  2. To pay close attention to
  3. To check out

After note: They replied and apologised and explained themselves. I had my doubts because a lot of people I know would have advised me to leave it. However, I believe if you feel you’re owed an explanation, there is no shame in asking for one. I didn’t know if I would get one, but I know that writing my own closure was going to help either way.


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