The Inability to Fit In


Alejandro Sánchez

More often than not over the past three months, I’ve had to test whether or not it’s possible to survive without trusting anyone. As an extroverted person, I coulnd’t not be friendly with those around me – but when those around me aren’t friendly, what am I supposed to do?

Some people find that work is where you find the most hostile for me, but I’ve experienced quite the opposite. My workmates are the best and the prettiest I’ve ever had, and in a span of under 90 days, a family-esque relationship has bloomed. These are the people I can fully trust (or even Marry If Needed™).

In something of a fairly sudden 180º drift, there have been moments where I haven’t been comfortable staying in my very own house. Not that I have problems with the people I live with, of course – it’s that wearing only pants lounging on the sofa with three semi-strangers takes some getting used to.

The people on the street seemed to be bothered by my walk. Is it because I’m dancing while I walk? (The K-pop virus is strong, I’m sorry). Or is it because my skin is darker than yours? Or that my name is hard to pronounce?

For some reason, it became harder and harder to stay oblivious to the fact that some of you don’t like me for who I am.

“Is it because I’m dancing while I walk, or is it because my skin is darker than yours?”

I would love to think that it’s because of social divergence. That us as educated people wouldn’t get along because we have irreconcilable differences regarding key political points, for example (how naïve of me!). Some people tend to judge others on such stupid, little difference so quickly that it’s quite unbearable.

A couple of short paragraphs later, and we’ve come to realise that some people sometimes don’t belong where they are. Some people are lovely, and others haven’t been so…kind, let’s put it that way.

There isn’t a feeling of awe anymore, only a feeling of being settled. If you get to a new city and there is no sense of amazement, then why did you move there in the first place? You have to fall in love with where you are. You won’t find a feeling like this everywhere you go, so if you do find it, you have to chase it with all your might. Chase this love.

Being an adult has taught me that some people may not like you, or you may not like a city – and if it’s in your power, you should change than in whichever way you can. Surround yourself fully with caring, familial characters.

Even a change of environment could help. Maybe going south of the parallel 38 may still be on the cards.


Alejandro Sánchez is a boy from Nicaragua who fell in love with the world and people. He wants to share it with whoever wants to hear about it, especially if there’s coffee involved.

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